If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels.
She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, a dazzling smile, six pack abs and Very funny felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever Very funny.
I'll give him a call.
Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I saw your ad in the yellow pages and understand you give a great massage.
I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you.
I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.
We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything. Now how does that sound? Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first?
Why did we swim around and around them? After a few minutes the ol' lady reaches over and knocks the hell out of the ol' man who goes flying off the porch and into the bushes.
The ol' man slowly gets up and makes his way back to his seat next to his wife on the swing. He sits there for a few minutes and then asks, "What was that for Ma? She slowly gets up and makes her way back to her seat next to Pa. She sits here a few minutes and then asks, "What was that for Pa?
The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book. The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement she gets up and starts stripping in front of him.
I thought it was foreplay. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go. He quickly answered, "Oh that?
The dog's leash goes slack! The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several old monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying.
One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed.
With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks. They lived on opposite sides of the river and they hated each other.Snooki announced that she’s got her third meatball growing in her womb.
Who knew that the pickle fucker of the olden days who used to piss on club floors and got arrested for acting a drunken wreck on the beach would grow up to be a responsible and wonderful mother of several humans.
An acoustic set from Jason Mraz & Toca Rivera plus very special guest Gregory Page. Please design a logo for me. With pie charts. For free. I quite like Simon, he is like the school teacher that would pull you aside after class and list every bad aspect .
View When You Act Super Tough But Cry When You Get A Paper Cut Rebecca Martinson. Those Damn Micro Transactions Get You Every Time. There's an extra minute of the video but it'll cost you $ US. Funny Facebook status updates are great way to brighten up your social networking profile page.
If you are looking for Hilarious Funny Facebook Status updates then your search ends here. This article is all about very funny Facebook status messages written by real people. This collection of funny .